I'm going to Twirl

His First Thanksgiving

Dear Jude,

Happy Thanksgiving to the most important person in our lives! I am so thankful for you that it's almost immeasurable. Last year on this day of thanks I had a sneaking suspicion that I was pregnant with you, but it was honestly nothing more than that, just a suspicion.

Today, a world away from that day, just one year later I'm watching you nap peacefully next to me and its almost like my world is spinning in slow motion. Watching your eyelids flutter, I'm just wondering what you could possibly be dreaming of and hoping more than anything that its something simple and wonderful. My world, our world before you came into it, was missing something. We never realized it, but now, after 3 and a half months with you, it's crystal clear. We were not complete before you, our family is now fuller than we could have ever expected.

Grateful and Thankful are words that you will someday understand the true meaning of when you have children of your own, but until then, please believe me when I tell you. You truly are the greatest gift and the most wonderful thing on the planet to be thankful for.

I love you and I promise to remember this first thanksgiving with you for the rest of my life. It's my first thanksgiving as a mother, and that just gives me even more to thank you for.

-momma

Captain Jude

This post is a couple of days late but I'm hoping the cuteness of Jude's Halloween costume makes up for it (fingers crossed).

Ryman turned a box we had in the garage into Jude's first airplane and we picked up some goggles from restoration hardware and the aviator hat is actually authentic from an army surplus store in Alameda.

Captain Jude at your service!

Fall with Jude

We took a drive to Ardenwood farms last weekend and altough Jude had no idea how cute the pigs and goats and sheep were, he did thankfully allow us to get a couple of pictures of him.

Almost 3 months.

Jude has changed so much over the past few weeks that its almost impossible to keep up with him! Little expressions, babbling rants and of course plenty of crying. Some pictures below are from the 10th when he turned 2 months old and some of them are just from the other day. I take so many photos of him and now Ryman is taking so much video. It's just so much fun to capture him!

Here is a link to a video Ryman made of his nursery. Our favorite room in the house :)  https://vimeo.com/51588839

I turned 30 on October 21st and we went for a little drive to Capitola just to get out of the house. It was a great day and I loved spending it with Ryman and Jude <3

Jude is 6 weeks old!

A short letter to Jude- just because today he is 6 weeks old and I can't seem to help myself. I want to chronicle every single day of his exsitence and be 'that mom' the one who shares WAY to many pictures and won't talk about anything else most of the time.

Jude, 

My entire world changed the moment I saw you for the first time. Each day of the past 6 weeks you have managed to teach me a little bit more about love in a way I least expected. Things haven't been easy, (you are still a newborn after all!) but I somehow love changing each diaper and waking up each morning for your 4am snack. I'm convinced the way your eyes light up when you smile is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

I cannot wait to watch you grow and learn and experience the world around you. You've taught your dad and I so much about each other in this short time that we didn't already learn over the past 10 years-it's truly been amazing and I thank you for it. I love you Jude Blake! 

-momma

p.s. I took almot all of these photos myself, so don't blame your photographer perfectionist father when you notice they aren't perfect!

9-11-12

Today is a day of remembrance and hope. Everyone can recall where they were when they heard the news and how they felt. I was sleeping and woken up by a call from my mother telling me to turn on the TV, which was sadly just in time to see the second plane hit the WTC. Groggy and stunned I remember instantly crying, not knowing any details, not understanding any of it. Just crying. I do not know anyone who was hurt or lost their lives in the attack, but as a human being, as an American, I felt rage and hopelessness knowing that so many innocent lives were lost.

 As I’m watching Jude sleeping so peacefully next to me now, I hope with every ounce of my being that he never wakes up to anything so horrible. September 11^th will not mean the same thing to him or any of our children, as it does to us. It will be a chapter in their history books instead of a painful memory. Just as important to him as an American, but hopefully not as enraging as it is to most of us. He wont look up suddenly with a twinge of fear at every low flying plane that passes over head like we do, and taking off his shoes at the airport wont be a hassle, it will just be the way its always been.

 I hope today you hug someone you love a little longer- trust me if the newborn next to me was capable of hugs I’d make him hold on for 5 solid minutes! 

One unforgettable month so far

Jude turned one month old today and the what all moms say is oh so true ‘my little baby is growing so fast!’ It seems almost impossible to believe that although the past 30 days have been the most difficult of my entire life so far, they have also been the most rewarding- and the most sleep deprived. Jude is currently on a  ‘I’ll sleep when I feel like it for as short amount of time as I want-you’re on your own mom- good luck with that’ schedule. Which basically means sometimes he will sleep for 4 hours starting at 10pm and then another 3 after a quick feeding, and sometimes it means he will sleep for 2 hours and want a snack and then he’ll repeat that exact pattern for 8 hours starting at 8pm. Luckily for me he wakes up at 5:30am every day and is wide-awake for the rest of the morning. Either way you look at it, I’m tired. ;-) A very happy, relieved, my life is complete, how was I ever happy before Jude, tired.

I’ll be home from work hopefully until the very beginning of December and I’m so thankful for that. I can’t imagine going back any sooner. I already get teary just thinking about being away from him all day while I’m back at work. How do all the working mom’s of the world do it?!  I guess I’ll find out soon enough.

 Breast-feeding is definitely all that it’s cracked up to be, painful but the best thing for him… & me, I’ve already lost 30lbs! Hoping to get rid of the remaining 20 as soon as the doc gives me the all clear to start running again. My goodness I never ever imagined I would be looking forward to running so much!

I’ve got some more pictures to share below and hopefully even more to come soon. It’s funny to me to scroll up and see that I’m writing about breast-feeding and sleep deprivation, its so typical of all new moms- and honestly I couldn’t be happier to be part of that seemingly cliché club.

Jude's first 12 days

Time for some photos of Jude! The past 12 days have been the best of my life and although we haven't taken as many photos of Jude as we would like in the home studio, we do have quite a few of him just being Jude around the house. I'm also sneaking in an outtake from the shoot because it was too cute to leave out even though Ryman wasn't happy with the lighting ;)

We do have some from our stay in the hospital, which was probably the most challenging experience I've ever been through- as most women expect childbirth to be.  After a little more than 34 hours of labor the doctors decided it was time to take Jude the 'new' old fashioned way, against his will- but for his own good. Because his heart rate continued to drop during each contraction it was decided that he wouldn't do well if I tried to deliver him naturally. A Cesarean section was required to ensure a safe delivery for both of us and of course when the little guy first made his debut the umbilical cord was nice and snug around his neck, just as the doctors had suspected.

Thankfully everything turned out perfectly and no more than an hour after the doctors told us surgery was a must, I was holding him in my arms for the first time. 

 

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Jude Blake Tolentino

Jude Blake Tolentino has arrived! He was born on August 10th at 2:47am, weighing 8lbs and 2 ounces. Jude was born after almost 30 hours of labor via last minute cesarean section. He is pure heaven wrapped in a swaddle blanket and has made our lives complete in a way that niether Ryman or I ever expected. 

                               This baby truly is a dream come true.

More to come soon!

40 Weeks & 1 day

Well here we are! Baby Tolentino's official due date was yesterday and it passed without a single contraction. I guess I should thank the little guy? Instead of spending the day in the hospital or around the house bored we went for a long drive & to our favorite restaurant for lunch. Sol Food is amazing Puerto Rican deliciousness and we loved it per usual.  If you live in Nor Cal and haven't been, GO. If you visit SF, please drive over the Golden Gate & don't mind the line out the door- it's that good.

The doc says that the baby is very comfortable and since our due date has passed we will have a NST (non stress test) on Friday the 3rd to make sure he's doing ok. If we fail that test we will be induced later that day. If he passes the test & I'm still pregnant by Monday, they will induce us on the 6th at 4pm. Looks like we will for sure have a birthday to celebrate at the latest on the 7th- Which also happens to be my grandmother's birthday. SO YAY. 

I really wanted to share photos from our baby shower and some of the nursery but my husband is holding them hostage on one of his many hard drives and I haven't a clue where to find them. Instead I'll just share a few pictures that I've taken recently. I'm figuring that a photo dump is better than blogosphere silence! I also did one of those pregnancy surveys ( after the photos)  just so one day many years from now if our son is so inclined he can take look at the fun he put his mother
 through ;-)

A couple tummy pictures:


 

Pregnant Lady Food

Nursery sneak peek

From my last week in the city for work- until November :)

Our Celebratory due date drive to the Golden Gate

& here is the survey- just for fun.

Weeks: 40 + 1 day

Size of baby: A watermelon. YES I’ve been sleeping with a watermelon lodged under my rib cage. It’s as fun as it sounds.

Total Weight Gain:  44lbs. No further comment.

Sleep:  I wake up every night about 5 times between 11 and 6 to run trot to the restroom and my husband says that I literally cry out/moan in the middle of the night when the baby is moving. Luckily somehow I don’t wake up from it, but it does wake him up!

Symptoms:  I still throw up just about every morning. First 3 months only? YEAH right.

Cravings: Grapes and strawberries

Gender BOY

Movement: A lot. Last night Ryman actually took a video of the little guy moving all over the place. He’s so big at this point that sadly it’s uncomfortable and a little painful!

Maternity Clothes:  PJ’s and tank tops and leggings and yesterday for the first time since I was about 12 years old I wore a bra outside of the house without underwire. It was SO much more comfortable to not have a regular bra trying to do the work that only a maternity bra can.

Best Moments this week:  On Friday we had a check up and got to listen to the little guy’s heartbeat, doc said it sounded great.

What I'm looking forward to:  The little one’s big debut of course!

Milestones: Yesterday Ryman and I both got the nesting bug and turned the house upside down to clean everything in sight. We even got a special new grooming brush for the pups and went to town with it. Paris and Mac are officially ready to meet the newest member of the family.